My name is Christiaan. I am a full time nursing student and an ELCA worship leader. I love big dogs, small dogs, tattoos, fitness, outdoorsy shit, hair and facial hair related thangies, dapper shit, music, and my beautiful girlfriend.

December 16th
6:43 PM

For the better portion of my life… I was always that guy in the first picture. I was Christiaan, the funny fat kid. I was 335 lbs and had no problems with it, or so I said. I let people make their jokes, or rather, I would finish their jokes about myself so they couldn’t have the glory. My worst enemies made their jokes, my best friends made their jokes, strangers made their jokes, and people I love made their jokes… because I made jokes about myself and allowed it to happen. So 2 and a half years ago I decide I was done laughing at myself and letting others get their kicks at my expense as well.

I went from 335 lbs to 225 lbs in the course of about a year and a half. I ran, cut calories, lifted, cut calories, biked, cut calories, did Insanity for 4 months straight, cut calories and the results were amazing. I was never happy with myself though… How I looked in the second and third pictures was not good enough for me because according to some chart I saw somewhere, a man who is 6’3” should weigh between 176-216 lbs and 225 was still overweight.

One chart was embedded in my brain and convincing me that the 110 lbs I lost was not good enough and that I had to push harder and faster. I found myself working out harder, not smarter. I spent 1800 dollars on a personal trainer and would work out 2-3 times a day. I had frequent joint injuries do to lifting even when I was exhausted. I started burning out and fatiguing way to fast because I was not taking in adequate nutrients. I was irritable and no one could convince me that I looked good enough. One day I hit a wall and essentially just quit.

See once school started getting more intense and I picked up two extra jobs, I started working out much less. Calorie counting fell by the wayside and eventually was non existent. Work outs went from 2-3 times a day to 2-3 times a week to practically non existent. The pounds started accruing and I stopped weighing myself because if I didn’t weigh myself, I wouldn’t be reminded of the changes I needed to make again.

I went from a xxl and 46 waist to a medium and 34 waist and now am back at a L/xL and 36-38 waist. Currently I am 245 lbs and of course not happy with how I look. But now for a whole new reason, I look back at what I was just 6 months ago and want to look like that again… except this time I will be happy when I get there because I have come to realize that a chart cannot define what is healthy for a unique individual. Humans are unique and each individual should be treated as such; we are not numbers on a chart. What is healthy for you may not be healthy for me and vice versa.

I am posting this as another way to hold myself accountable and hopefully have my followers hold me accountable. I am reembarking on this weight loss journey with intensions of being back at 225 lbs but I am doing it healthily and taking my time. This is no longer about diets or workout programs but instead a full on lifestyle change to make sure that I am the healthiest I possibly can be. I will listen to my girlfriend when she compliments me and I will accept those compliments instead of saying that I still am disgusting. I will be happy with myself for once in my life and that starts today because even though I have gained back 20 lbs and am not 225, going from 335 to 245 is still a massive accomplishment and I am proud of that.

The last two photos are the most current and in due time will be replaced with photos similar to the 2nd and 3rd photos.